Fond Acidic Happiness

Soo, blogging. I am fiercely fighting my urge to stop this and just crash on my whore of a bed, which I love so deeply from the bottom of my heart. Supposedly this business is good for the soul, so lets see if I can buff mine up again.

My acidic happiness is that chaotic mess we all sometimes cross upon in our life, that little nagging feeling in the back of your head that life is going to well, almost just expecting that bad to come from no where and tackle you. My life is just zooming by so much that I really do believe that I haven't quite had the time to enjoy those talked about roses. Pushing through the dullness of what I do, I got a promotion at work. So going from working all the time and having no life, I've upped that to a whole new level. Who'd a thunk I would become a manager of anything? I guess it happened around me without my really know what I was getting into. The job is just so, encompassing of absolutely everything my mind can give it; and trust me when I say this my mind is about tapped out!

Visibly people can't really notice how much is truly going on in my little head and I suspect its best that way. Past work my transitioning has been going at such a pace that I really have no rights to complain. I finally climbed the hurdle of coming out to my parents and sister, and my wow can I say that it has to be the best sensation; if there could be an addiction to coming out, I'd be fully tapped into that sensation. Like set that IV up and let's get this rocking. Though what makes me smirk is know that most everyone 110% behind me have not said once this has completely shocked them. Like really? Am I just that much of an open book to some? I swear I am going to need jedi training to stop that! The medication is fun, it hasn't caused anything super interesting but there are certainly those little differences that count the most. Having a perpetual happiness? Yes! that is just so much pure awesome that I can't feel down for long about anything. Things for once seem to just fall into place, a placing that I really don't feel that need to correct or correctly place set them.

Clothes, waxing, dropping, running, sweating, stressing love. Bring up the next one, lets get it going. Life you win, but I win harder. You tossed me a orchard of lemons some times and I've juiced most of those buggers! You said get healthier? I'm driving on through that challenge. You've expected me to conform to the norm and I have blasted past what has been expected of me. I may have set myself lofty goals that may happen or may not, but for once I am excited too see how bumps and bruises I get in the process.

Life is just becoming a chemical upgrade I guess I could call it, money to change what I wish to be and enjoying it. I just wish what I am doing was easier on all my loved ones; I wish I could take their worries, their fears and just get rid of them. My life has never and never will be something that can be said is safe, nor does it represent something hair raising dangerous. But it is how I chose to live my life that is making it dangerous. The choice for my personal freedom and growth is what will cause me the most pain and most growth, and I just wish people to grow along in that fear with me. Yes my finally changes are big medically and they will test the bounds of my body, and yes it will be quite a learning curve. I just cannot feel fear for it, I can only press that glassed in feature with all my love and joy.

To all of you out their that get my vague ramblings about what I am doing, especially those who are going through the same process remember this. People may judge and you could get hurt. But the best inner strength you can come upon is the knowledge that you are bigger and far better then that. You courage, your beauty are something to admire and to openly show people. Never ever let you spirit dull for anyone. Always allow it that room, that freedom to shine and blind those who can't stand with that same courage to face the world. You are beautiful, and awesome for what your doing.

Muah!

La Life!

I do apologetically offer up any sort of explanation to my absence for this long hiatus. Buuut really that wouldn't be as fun as just letting you all assume I did some things, ended up in a random ditch, and maybe along the way sprung a leak! However the hiatus will hopefully be over soon and I shall slip back into my writing, for now I do spread my apologies far and wide for the little blip of readers I may or may not have. On a similar note I shall be changing the url for my blog, so just tag me a comment so I know your interested in the updated info. Life is fast and hard, and its bruising/buffing me for something magical. My usually reliable flow of inspiration has just hit a bump but hopefully in the right moment it will strike a cord with me once more. Other than that, love lots, love hard, love ever. I wish you all a wonderful what ever your doing, and many interesting adventures.

Muah!