Jesus fucking christ. I have been doing well with feeling shitty, depressed and a little with the self esteem. But god dammit if this just brings in a whole fuck load of crazy messed up crap. Like how is one person supposed to deal with something like this, who is working around the clock, barely making ends meat as it is.
Its not like its an easy task to wake up one day and find a room mate or anything like that, it takes a lot of work. Including all other options I only have one full proof one that would definitely save me a lot of problems. But would I really want to cause all this stress for my family?
cranky fox out
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Torrents of angry spurting mess!
God, I have had it up to my head and more with this fucking bull shit. Like jesus tits I am not this good person some people think I am or this wonderful person to have as a mate, yet some furies seem too think this way.. And I am sure I am being cocky when it comes to this but holy mother of pearl it has to be the most frustrating battle on the face of the planet. Most human beings outside of the fandom or normal or crazy, depending what gene pool they came from or what happened to them during their maturing stage....but what ever I can deal with that; I can also deal with most people are insecure and hate themselves just a bit, or not at all, hell well all do it, and I still hate myself to this day. But myself included with a select number of people out there started to realize it wasn't a bully, or a magazine that influenced are pattern of thinking, they all helped because of the influence they hold on peoples opinions, but our inner person is the cause. Its really backwards to think about it this way but it makes sense, most bully's get over teasing you after some time, same as certain perceptions give way too letting you live your life. But its the inner person in all of us that hold onto these words these perceptions and drag it on like this fad is going out of style, consuming most in a life with depression. And sure I am generalizing here and I understand that. As a perfect example the Internet is not a proven truthful way to know anyone, you can only glean so much from typed words to let you form a image of a person and who they are. So how are people able to trust a typed of profile of someone and let them have their heart so too speak in a game of trust. First of all its really nice that some people can do it and get the one of their dreams, but for the ones out there that blindly throw their heart out to any one's whim they get hurt all the time. Its part of the parcel; meet someone on the Internet expect what they tell you to be a lie, assuming what ever you imagine is a false image that will be ruined when you meet. Then when people finally get hurt its like this big freaking shock...Like dur its time too wake up folks, if you don't want to be hurt don't let anyone know more about you then what is comfortable. And please don't take this as clam up and never meet anyone ever again, just be smart about it, let them know only what you want them too know, and go from there. So if it has to come down to a breaking of ways you only leave a little scared and not marred for life like some people get from these things.
Of course I myself have done it not to long ago and I still don't understand the whole trusting perspective on it all, trusting someone so fully even though you haven't touched, held, smelt, kissed, seen them in real life is a big step, and one that shouldn't be so easy for some people too stumble on. To top it all off is the simple fact its hard to meet people and some times looking farther then you though you may could be the answer; even going ahead and doing a relationship is fine but from a experience I wont forget it takes to halves to make a whole...if your other half for the time is lacking, give them a swift kick or lose them. It can't be worth all the self doubt or the bleh feeling you get from something like that to even see if it may work out. Sometimes the worst thing about it all is the guilt trip after dumping someone, oh god do some people lay it on thick. Whether its 'Oh I am just a horrible person' or ' I am better off dead for some' I just wish this people would grow a left nut and move forward. Do you really think if you've been dumper for what ever reason it was that dwelling on it makes it seem better or repairs the damage? NO, NO, NO bad puppies! go sit in your corner and think about that.
Too dwell on a past pain is only to reassure you will be depressed and won't get better, in fact it really kills you slowly. Sitting around, hiding, not talking too people who have been through the same similar pain or the exact same pain are out there and or being braver then some. Oh it was hard for them, and probably still is but lets think about it, what's the point in dredging something up from the past that is better left in the past. I am not a saint when it comes to this, nor am I this wealth of knowledge because I have done it all, I am just some 21 man that heard enough of it from his short life span to make him gag. People in junior high, and high school have more balls then some people who are in their 30's. I think its time well sat back realized what we are doing to ourselves and fixed it. Whether your in a long distance relationship now, or not dating sit back and think....if you keep making the situation seeming worse then it really is, do you think coping with it will be easier? Will dragging on the fact about being alone, being to far away, or being to near make the situation just POP! better?
Think. Listen. Read. Do.
fox out.
Of course I myself have done it not to long ago and I still don't understand the whole trusting perspective on it all, trusting someone so fully even though you haven't touched, held, smelt, kissed, seen them in real life is a big step, and one that shouldn't be so easy for some people too stumble on. To top it all off is the simple fact its hard to meet people and some times looking farther then you though you may could be the answer; even going ahead and doing a relationship is fine but from a experience I wont forget it takes to halves to make a whole...if your other half for the time is lacking, give them a swift kick or lose them. It can't be worth all the self doubt or the bleh feeling you get from something like that to even see if it may work out. Sometimes the worst thing about it all is the guilt trip after dumping someone, oh god do some people lay it on thick. Whether its 'Oh I am just a horrible person' or ' I am better off dead for some' I just wish this people would grow a left nut and move forward. Do you really think if you've been dumper for what ever reason it was that dwelling on it makes it seem better or repairs the damage? NO, NO, NO bad puppies! go sit in your corner and think about that.
Too dwell on a past pain is only to reassure you will be depressed and won't get better, in fact it really kills you slowly. Sitting around, hiding, not talking too people who have been through the same similar pain or the exact same pain are out there and or being braver then some. Oh it was hard for them, and probably still is but lets think about it, what's the point in dredging something up from the past that is better left in the past. I am not a saint when it comes to this, nor am I this wealth of knowledge because I have done it all, I am just some 21 man that heard enough of it from his short life span to make him gag. People in junior high, and high school have more balls then some people who are in their 30's. I think its time well sat back realized what we are doing to ourselves and fixed it. Whether your in a long distance relationship now, or not dating sit back and think....if you keep making the situation seeming worse then it really is, do you think coping with it will be easier? Will dragging on the fact about being alone, being to far away, or being to near make the situation just POP! better?
Think. Listen. Read. Do.
fox out.
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